1
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:08,830
Well, I'm just saying that I wouldn't be
going into work tomorrow if I were two

2
00:00:08,830 --> 00:00:09,870
weeks overdue.

3
00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:12,730
Well, that's because you're a better
mother than I am.

4
00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:18,010
Mike, singing's for kids. Besides, you
promised no singing, remember?

5
00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:21,850
Hey, who sang? All I said was... Quit
it, Mike!

6
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:25,210
Like Mom and Dad said, it's my day.

7
00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:27,250
All right, all right, it's your party,
it's your rules.

8
00:00:28,470 --> 00:00:29,470
Mike!

9
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,890
Honey, speaking as a doctor... Jason,
Jason, Jason, Jason.

10
00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:34,890
It's silent cake time.

11
00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:40,790
I'm just saying, you know as well as I
do, the big, this is it moment could

12
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:41,790
at any time.

13
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,390
Really? And how many babies have you
had?

14
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,310
I'm not going to push it.

15
00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,530
Going into work is stupid and upset.

16
00:00:51,950 --> 00:00:57,790
Jason, the baby will not come... Oh, I'm
sorry, Pumpkin. No more talk about the

17
00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:00,510
new baby. Like we said, you are dead.

18
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:01,770
Thank you.

19
00:01:01,830 --> 00:01:04,390
Go, come on, make a wish, blow out the
candles. I got it.

20
00:01:04,769 --> 00:01:07,290
Have you guys really not thought on any
names for the baby?

21
00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:09,850
Carol. What? What'd I say?

22
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:12,370
It was a lot worse than Hank. Mike!

23
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:16,470
What is Hank?

24
00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:19,710
It's just a word, Dad, that apparently
seems to be freaking Ben out.

25
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,750
And he's been a lot crabbier than you
guys have been lately.

26
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:28,170
Now, wait a minute. Your mother is
having a baby. This is a big sprain on

27
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,170
family.

28
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,320
You can't blame her for acting a little
irrational.

29
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,500
Man, this is what we need, a new Caesar.

30
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,840
minutes apart now, and you're okay?

31
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,080
Uh -huh. All right.

32
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:01,560
Now, did I ever tell you back in medical
school, you know, I thought an awful

33
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,120
lot about obstetrics and gynecology?

34
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:04,340
I bet you did.

35
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,740
I still don't see how you two can be so
calm. I mean, Mom, you're about to give

36
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:14,600
birth. Perhaps the most painful growth
human experience in the whole world.

37
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,540
Thank you, Carol.

38
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,700
Your mom and I have the advantage of
having been through this a few times

39
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,400
before, Carol. Yeah, but you were much,
much younger then.

40
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,160
Age has nothing to do with it. When
you're prepared for a situation, you can

41
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,620
take anything in stride.

42
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:39,540
I'm okay. Don't worry about me. In fact,
don't worry about anything. Mom, I got

43
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:41,640
your suitcase right here and Dr.
Goodner's phone number.

44
00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:42,619
Everything's set.

45
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:45,080
Even Mike is called? I think I'm going
to be sick.

46
00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:49,640
Remember, if you need anything, I am
here. I'm not afraid of blood or guts or

47
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,640
pus or anything.

48
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,500
Mike, you know what you could do? You
could heat me some water.

49
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,270
Hot water?

50
00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:58,950
You mean the baby's coming right now?

51
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,490
Dad, you're a doctor. Can't you stop
that thing?

52
00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:06,690
Mike, I just wanted some tea.

53
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,030
Tea?

54
00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:10,690
Oh.

55
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,150
Hey, I knew that.

56
00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:20,450
Hey, Ben, Mom is, like, ready to give
birth in the living room. This is major

57
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,450
stuff here.

58
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,310
And the thing, how did you get the gift
of life with sea monkeys?

59
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:29,640
it out. I did. I know my mom and dad are
acting like they're so calm.

60
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:30,999
It's an act.

61
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000
I'll cover.

62
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:33,420
Cover this.

63
00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:39,000
Oh, that's it, Mike. Act like the
insensitive lout that you are.

64
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,360
Carol, if your voice gets any higher,
only dogs will be able to hear you.

65
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:47,640
Michael Seaver, I hope that's the girl
with every ounce of my being.

66
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,560
Well, I don't stand a chance.

67
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:54,600
Oh, Jason, this can't be happening now.
Why not?

68
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:57,180
We still have to pick out names. Yeah,
well, you should have thought of that

69
00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:58,180
before you went into labor.

70
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,340
All right, Dr. Goodman knows that we're
on our way.

71
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,540
Did you know she's a woman?

72
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:03,220
Yes.

73
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:06,180
All right, come on, everybody. Let's go.
In my car. Come on. Come on. No, no,

74
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,660
no. We can't go in your car. Your car's
in the shop.

75
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,080
What's it doing there?

76
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,099
You told me to take it there.

77
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,160
Oh, that was last week, Mike.

78
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,640
And you say I never listen.

79
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,020
All right, we'll take you in this car.
Let's go. But you hate driving our car.

80
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,440
No, I don't. Yes, you do. Yes, I do, but
it's just to the hospital. Well, I

81
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,440
don't want to put you out.

82
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,160
Fine.

83
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,840
Look, we can take my car, all right?
Yeah, all right. Okay, let's go.

84
00:05:27,420 --> 00:05:30,600
So when we get stopped for speeding for
once, I can finally say, well, not that

85
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,600
I ever get stopped for speeding.

86
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,880
I'll drive Mike's car. But we all won't
fit in Mike's car.

87
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:36,420
Then I'll drive my car, too.

88
00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:38,140
Great. Great.

89
00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:40,020
No. No.

90
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,320
No, Maggie, you can't. But I have to go.
I'm the one that's... Oh.

91
00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:44,860
Oh.

92
00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:46,340
Oh.

93
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:52,240
All right, look, we're starting to sound
like a bunch of death mental patients.

94
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,680
You know, Dad, you take Mom in my car
and I'll take Carol's car. I don't have

95
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,240
car. I meant I'll take you in Mom's car.

96
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:59,480
Wait, what about Ben? Ben can't drive.

97
00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,120
No, we almost forgot Ben.

98
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:03,840
Almost.

99
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,320
You take him in your car because I'll be
taking Mom's car, which is really...

100
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,780
Well, is that your car? Yeah, it's
Jason's.

101
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,059
Yeah, okay.

102
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:11,060
Okay, yeah.

103
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,400
Come on, Ben. We can't wait forever.

104
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,960
I think I'll just stay. I was going to
watch TV tonight anyway.

105
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:20,660
Ben, you've got to stop watching TV and
start living your life.

106
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:22,710
TV? He is my life.

107
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:34,910
Excuse me, I'm Jason Stever, and my wife
is a patient of Dr. Goodner's, and

108
00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:35,910
she's going to have a baby.

109
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,530
No.

110
00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:40,790
Is the doctor here yet? Yes, she's
scrubbing up.

111
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,010
Aren't you that Maggie Malone from the
TV news?

112
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,970
Yes. I see you all the time.

113
00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:50,310
Thank you. I didn't say I like you. I
said I see you.

114
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:54,800
Can we just get on with the medical
routine? We'll save this fiscal and

115
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,040
stuff for later. Fine.

116
00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,280
See, a person tries to be friendly to
people, you see what happens.

117
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:05,660
Now, before we take you off for
prepping, Mrs. Malone... Mrs. Ebert.

118
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,160
Oh, you're one of those.

119
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:12,380
Anyway, this hospital has what is called
a birthing room.

120
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,440
Yes, my wife and I have told the kids
all about it. Sir, can I please do my

121
00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:23,000
Now, this birthing room allows... the
whole family to be a part of and witness

122
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,440
to the beauty of birth.

123
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:27,940
Exactly.

124
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,680
Well, this kid wants up.

125
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,620
Barney, we've got another customer.
Let's roll.

126
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,860
Okay, Mom, you'll be okay.

127
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:40,580
Have fun.

128
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,460
Don't worry, Dad. I'll stay here with
nervous little Carol.

129
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:48,700
Wait, Dad, you forgot your camera. Dr.
Johnson.

130
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:53,310
Oh, just watching a birth would be so
fleshy.

131
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:55,870
It's kind of like watching Alien in 3D.

132
00:07:57,030 --> 00:08:01,470
I thought you were staying here because
somebody's got to stay here with nervous

133
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:02,470
little Carol.

134
00:08:02,610 --> 00:08:04,730
Well, if it'll make you happier, Carol,
then I'll leave.

135
00:08:05,430 --> 00:08:06,770
You can stay here with little Ben.

136
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,670
Dr. Ziegler, call admissions.

137
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:12,310
All right, Carol, what'd you do with
Ben?

138
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:13,650
Me? Me?

139
00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:16,110
Carol, this is no time to be thinking
about yourself.

140
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,270
Now, was he in the elevator with us?

141
00:08:18,890 --> 00:08:19,890
I...

142
00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,190
Aye, aye. What is it with you today?

143
00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:27,070
All right, now what would Ben pick now
of all times to run off?

144
00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:31,030
Well, I don't know. Maybe he's upset
because with the new baby, he thinks

145
00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:33,630
we don't have time for him. Oh, well,
that's silly.

146
00:08:33,950 --> 00:08:36,650
And with the new baby, we don't have
time for Ben's silliness.

147
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,970
Carol, if you ever think about becoming
a child counselor, don't.

148
00:08:41,890 --> 00:08:45,250
Look, do you want to stay here and
insult me, or do you want to go help me

149
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:46,250
for Ben?

150
00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:48,850
Carol, what I want does not matter here,
okay?

151
00:08:49,819 --> 00:08:51,740
Now I'll check this floor and you go
check the other eight.

152
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,120
The other eight?

153
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:07,040
Where have you been?

154
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,840
I need floors to check. What have you
been doing? Checking every nook and

155
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,840
on this floor.

156
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,500
You'll never believe what I saw this
orderly doing in the supply room.

157
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,570
All right, now Ben's got to be...
someplace obvious.

158
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:20,110
No, I already checked. The cafeteria's
not open at this hour.

159
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:23,890
Well, I guess we should have to tell Mom
and Dad that you've lost him. I lost

160
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:25,110
him. Good, you admit it.

161
00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:27,350
Would you tell them anything now?

162
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,630
Are you out of your mind? One of their
children is missing.

163
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:32,110
Oh, come on, Mike. Don't you think that
they're a little busy?

164
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:33,370
With what?

165
00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:35,630
Oh.

166
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:52,580
You guys think you're so cute.

167
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,560
Kid, you don't belong here.

168
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,640
It's official.

169
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:15,180
Oh, shut up,

170
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:16,180
Jason.

171
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:19,400
You're doing just fine, Maggie. Won't be
long now.

172
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,160
Eight centimeters dilated.

173
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,419
Thank you, Doctor.

174
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:23,420
You're welcome, Doctor.

175
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,780
Come on, Maggie, you can do it. You can
do it, Maggie.

176
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,940
You can do it? That's supposed to make
me feel better? You call yourself a

177
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:31,940
coach?

178
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,620
That's good, Maggie. Take your mind off
your pain.

179
00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:37,000
Take my mind off my pain, okay?

180
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,880
Do you know how annoying it is to be
married to someone with your toilet

181
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,440
leaves the seat up.

182
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,640
That's what did in my first marriage.

183
00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:05,520
Does he leave half a sheet on the roll
without replacing it?

184
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:09,220
Constantly. Men can be such babies.

185
00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:12,280
Speaking of babies, can we just get on
with this one? Thank you.

186
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,720
It's okay, Mike. We got the right room
this time.

187
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,280
Come on in.

188
00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:19,540
Where's Ben? Ben?

189
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,580
Uh, I mean, uh, Ben.

190
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:30,950
He's waiting in the cafeteria.

191
00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:34,450
A little squeamish about coming in, huh?
Yeah.

192
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:37,650
We've got to take this place apart until
we find him. I know.

193
00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:40,750
You just go tell him it's not so scary
being in here.

194
00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:43,210
What am I even trying to tell you for
the last hour, Carol?

195
00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:58,940
Could you fix this for me? I don't bend
over so good.

196
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,440
Uh, yeah.

197
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:02,640
Ah, thanks.

198
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:03,860
I owe you.

199
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,480
Can you smoke in a hospital?

200
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:12,400
Are you a doctor? No. A nurse? No. An
orderly? No. I can smoke in a hospital.

201
00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:16,220
So who the hell are you?

202
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:17,620
Ben Seaver.

203
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:18,900
Ben Seaver?

204
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,860
The Ben Seaver? You heard of me? No.

205
00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:24,960
So, Ben Seaver, what are you doing here?

206
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,340
Nothing. Oh, well, good. Then you come
in, we can shoot a fat.

207
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,800
Fat? I lost ten pounds.

208
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,160
Amy, talk.

209
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:34,380
Jaw. Chat.

210
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,220
Get down.

211
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:37,520
Come on in.

212
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,440
Nice place, huh?

213
00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:44,560
Oh, by the way, I'm Chris Longshot
Ganey. You can call me Chris.

214
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:46,920
Okay. So, let me guess.

215
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,880
You wander hospitals for a living.

216
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:55,930
You're not much of a conversationalist,
are you?

217
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:58,730
You got some problems?

218
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:00,969
I don't know.

219
00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:04,490
Oh, come on. You're the first person
I've seen around here without a needle

220
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,329
his hand.

221
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:07,170
Maybe I can help you out with your
problem, huh?

222
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:08,770
You need to make me feel better.

223
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:11,910
You know, I'd love to have guys tell me
they have problems. That's what I do for

224
00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:12,749
a living.

225
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,070
My dad does the same thing.

226
00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:15,730
No kidding. He's a bartender, too?

227
00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:22,370
You know what that must have been?

228
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,080
I've inhaled some of that anesthesia or
something.

229
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:26,900
Probably your socks.

230
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,600
Scott, I just want you to take it easy
for a while, okay?

231
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:35,060
Oh, excuse me, Jason. There is another
patient here.

232
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:40,240
Oh, yes, yes. This is my special
patient, my one and only patient. You're

233
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,160
going to let that help me look good,
then, are you?

234
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:45,820
Carol, I am just as concerned as you are
about the whole pocket, all right?

235
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,840
You know, Chris, I didn't even get to
open my presents.

236
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:53,540
They didn't even sing to me.

237
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:56,640
Oh, Benny, Benny, Benny, pull yourself
together.

238
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,160
Me again.

239
00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:00,520
You're not driving, are you?

240
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,000
Huh? Bartender joke.

241
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:06,080
I don't get it, Chris.

242
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,340
I just don't get it. I mean, I figured
it'd be all right with this new kid

243
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:10,660
coming, but he's crowding me already.

244
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:12,060
And he's not even born yet.

245
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:16,440
Right. I mean, I've been the youngest
keeper my whole life. Before that, I was

246
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,480
nothing. Now with this new kid coming,
what am I now? Nothing.

247
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,080
Nothing? Come on, Benny.

248
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:24,330
You're getting carried away, aren't you?
Hey, that's not the milk talking, is

249
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,330
it?

250
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:28,070
I gotta just face it. I'm being
replaced.

251
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,870
You wouldn't have any cookies to go with
this, would you?

252
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:37,090
If they catch me with these, they're
gonna give me a physic.

253
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,390
What's a physic? You don't wanna know?
Eat the cookies.

254
00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:47,750
Now, look, Benny Powell, since you and
me go back a long way, I'm gonna tell

255
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:48,750
something I don't tell everybody.

256
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:53,610
You know, in all my years as a
bartender, I've seen a lot of things.

257
00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:56,610
birth, and everything else.

258
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:02,250
And the biggest lesson I've learned is,
well, all those old cliches are true.

259
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,550
Time does heal all wounds.

260
00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:06,390
Life does go on.

261
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:09,950
Twelve -year -olds do not listen to you.

262
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:14,570
Now, look, since I didn't know it was
your birthday, I didn't have time to

263
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:15,570
your present.

264
00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:16,930
But take it anyway, huh?

265
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,150
It's a little advice from an old man.

266
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:25,930
You know, I'll tell you, I've been a lot
of things. A bartender, a veteran, a

267
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:29,570
Kiwanian. Or is it a Rotarian? I can
never get that right.

268
00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:34,910
Also, I've also been a husband, a
father, a son.

269
00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:37,870
But do you know the thing I enjoyed
being best?

270
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,410
A big brother.

271
00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:40,890
Big brother?

272
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:41,950
You got a big brother?

273
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:44,730
What do you think of him? Oh, he's the
best.

274
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,050
He treats him like a doofus, but he's
the greatest guy in the world.

275
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:51,330
Now, think about how nice it would be to
have someone around who thought that

276
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:54,170
same way about you. I mean, even if you
did treat him like a doofus.

277
00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:55,510
Doofus. Whatever.

278
00:15:57,110 --> 00:16:00,950
Ben Thiever, you are a lucky man. You
are not being replaced.

279
00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:02,950
You're being added on to.

280
00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:06,090
Hey, pal, this is not a gift you're
going to get every birthday.

281
00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:09,670
From now on, you're going to be Big
Brother Ben.

282
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:11,990
Big Brother Ben?

283
00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:13,190
Mm -hmm.

284
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,960
Another thing I've learned as a
bartender, if you can't solve a guy's

285
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,260
try and help him forget it.

286
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:24,140
So, as a result of that, I happen to
have a top shelf of top shelf jokes

287
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:28,120
guaranteed to crack the sourest puss up
into hysterical laughter.

288
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,480
You ready?

289
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:35,040
What's got four legs, a tail, and barks?
A dog. You heard it.

290
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,400
Oh, Jason, I'm never going through this
again.

291
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,080
Oh, that's what you said after Mike.

292
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:47,980
And Carol.

293
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:50,180
And Ben.

294
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:51,700
Here it comes.

295
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:55,500
Oh, Jason, this is just not something a
four -year -old woman should do.

296
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,060
You want a boy or you want a girl?

297
00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,380
What do you got?

298
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:06,619
All right, I give up. What do you get if
you cross an elephant with a rhino?

299
00:17:07,339 --> 00:17:08,339
Elephino.

300
00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:11,619
I got it, I got it, I got it.

301
00:17:12,429 --> 00:17:13,589
Hey, shufflies, will you?

302
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:18,450
Now, listen, I probably shouldn't tell
you this one, but the creepiest girl you

303
00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:21,010
ever saw walks into a bar dressed like a
fish.

304
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,510
My fins? I thought they were your fins.

305
00:17:24,030 --> 00:17:25,030
You know it?

306
00:17:25,329 --> 00:17:26,329
Yep.

307
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:28,190
Boy, that's a pretty racy joke.

308
00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:30,050
I know. My big brother told it to me.

309
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:34,030
Well, that's enough of corrupting the
morals of a miner. Let's get back to

310
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:35,030
gambling.

311
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:37,690
All right.

312
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:38,669
You ready?

313
00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:40,670
Ready. Got any sevens? Go fish.

314
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:46,870
You know, Chris, smoking those things is
bad for you.

315
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:48,670
That's all right, Penny.

316
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,470
These cigars won't hurt me.

317
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:52,350
Nothing will.

318
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,090
So you're getting out of here real soon?

319
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:56,630
Yeah, soon.

320
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:58,890
Great, because maybe you could come
visit me then.

321
00:18:03,070 --> 00:18:04,070
Chris?

322
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,790
Your turn, your turn.

323
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,060
Hey, Ben, what the heck have you been
doing?

324
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:12,920
Gambling and telling dirty jokes.

325
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:17,340
Ben, we've been looking all over for
you. I didn't know.

326
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,260
Yeah, I hope my stupid brother hasn't
been bothering you. Oh, he's been a real

327
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:21,260
pain in the neck.

328
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,000
Come on, Ben, the new baby's here.

329
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,200
That's your big brother?

330
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:28,800
Well, he seems like a neat guy.

331
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,620
Well, what do you think you got, a new
brother or a new sister?

332
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:33,500
I don't care.

333
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:35,280
Hey, I don't believe that.

334
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,320
Now you go on down there and find out
what it is. Go on, go, go, go, go.

335
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,400
Bye, Chris.

336
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,440
So long, pal.

337
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,680
Oh,

338
00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:59,720
Jason, she's beautiful.

339
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,580
Just like your mother.

340
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,500
Oh, Maggie, you did it.

341
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,380
Oh, we did it.

342
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,380
Sweetheart, I'm so...

343
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,030
Sorry for all my yelling at you.

344
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:16,550
Yelling? What yelling?

345
00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:21,310
I want you to know that I love being
married to you and you can leave the

346
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,070
seat up until we're old and gray.

347
00:19:24,570 --> 00:19:27,690
I think that's the most romantic thing
you've ever said to me.

348
00:19:28,810 --> 00:19:35,550
I want to say hello to your new baby

349
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:36,770
sister. Sister?

350
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,870
It's a girl? You mean I went through all
that for another girl?

351
00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:45,170
Are you sure it's a girl?

352
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,270
Yeah, pretty sure.

353
00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:48,790
Can I hold her?

354
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:55,770
Now it's finally even.

355
00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,270
Mike, do you want to hold her?

356
00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:02,010
I know. No, no, no. I might break her or
something.

357
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:04,510
Weenie.

358
00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:05,690
Hey.

359
00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:06,930
Major Weenie.

360
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:15,990
She weighs less than a bowling ball.

361
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:19,930
I was never this small.

362
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:21,330
Oh, you were.

363
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:24,250
A whole new seaver.

364
00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:28,130
I guess that makes six of us now.

365
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,670
Growing up?

366
00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:36,210
Yeah, I never thought I'd be this
allergic.

367
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:41,050
Well, there are some things in life no
amount of planning can ever make you

368
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:41,919
ready for.

369
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,580
And holding a newborn baby is probably
the best one in the whole world.

370
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,240
Here, Ben, you want to hold her?

371
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,720
You're big brother Ben now.

372
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,400
Big brother Ben.

373
00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:57,660
So what do you think?

374
00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,740
I think she's cool.

375
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000
She's who?

376
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,780
Look, Jason, we can't hold off naming
her any longer now.

377
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,760
Yeah, I know, I know. Well, let's tell
the kids the name we agreed on.

378
00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:18,570
Irma. I never agreed to Irma. I agreed
to Sophie.

379
00:21:19,490 --> 00:21:23,290
Sophie? Hey, hey, how do you feel about
Apollonia?

380
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,010
Chris.

381
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:29,750
Gotta be Chris.

382
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:31,190
Chris.

383
00:21:31,410 --> 00:21:32,610
I like that name.

384
00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:34,010
Yeah, I like it too.

385
00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:35,750
Where'd you come up with that, Ben?

386
00:21:36,790 --> 00:21:38,270
It's the name of a guy I know.

387
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:40,590
A friend.

388
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,640
Christine Seaver.

389
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,300
Christine Seaver.

390
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:48,920
Sounds like a name.

391
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,500
I'm going to be a good big brother,
Chris.

392
00:21:53,740 --> 00:21:54,740
You'll see.

393
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,040
I don't even mind sharing my birthday
with you.

394
00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:05,980
Christine Seaver, 8 pounds, 4 ounces,
born 12 .03 a

395
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:07,820
.m. 12 .03?

396
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,240
You mean it's tomorrow, the day after my
birthday?

397
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,740
Well, it's one way of looking at it.

398
00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:16,060
Oh, right!

399
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:18,500
Hey, I almost forgot.

400
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Congratulations,

401
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,280
Mr. Seaver.

402
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,320
Have a cigar.

403
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,220
Happy birthday, Cracker.

404
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:50,210
I'm going to mold her into the total
woman of the 21st century.

405
00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:51,670
Looking forward to that.

406
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:54,270
Look at all these babies.

407
00:22:54,730 --> 00:22:55,870
They've all got families.

408
00:22:56,230 --> 00:22:57,290
Brothers and sisters.

409
00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:00,690
It really makes you stop and think about
what's important in life.

410
00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:05,550
Mike, every once in a while you make me
really proud to be your sister.

411
00:23:06,710 --> 00:23:08,870
Oh, hey, look at the twins on that
nurse.

412
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,420
What's with you people? Don't you like
babies?